First dates can be a source of anxiety for just about anyone – even the most confident among us! Keep in mind that there are certain topics you should definitely avoid—at least until you know each other a little better. We’ll tackle what not to talk about in the next article.
If you don’t want to be at a loss for words when you’re sitting across from your dream date, here are some great topics you can add to your repertoire when the conversation hits a lull:
Dates are about having fun, and first dates, doubly so. If you can share a few laughs it will make for a memorable occasion. If you don’t consider yourself to be a “funny guy”, think about learning a few jokes in advance and get ready to light up his smile.
Ultimately, you want to find out whether he will be a good match for you. Exploring mutual expectations is okay as it will give you more insight as to whether your needs and wants are aligned. That’s what first dates are all about!
Find out if you share a passion for certain recreational activities, like working out, watching movies, cycling, and so on. If you find some common ground, this will no doubt lead to some lively discussion.
It is possible that the two of you may have vastly different stances on gay lifestyle and the community in general. Finding out how active he is in the gay community and whether his values mesh with yours is important as it will have an impact on your social life together.
Discussing current events is a good way to find out how socially aware he is and get an idea of his general attitude towards topical issues.
What are you passionate about? What is he passionate about? There is no better way to see a person’s true heart shine through than to hear them talk about their passions. It’s a great way to show him who you really are, too. When he talks about his own passions, be sure to ask questions so you can better understand where he’s coming from.
There is no better way to discover who a person is than to find out how he relates to the other people in their life. Keep in mind, however, that family can also be a traumatic subject for some people, so if you sense that the topic is making him uncomfortable, change the subject. Allow him the time and space he needs to approach the topic when he’s ready.
Find out what his ideal dating lifestyle looks like and share your vision with him. Keep dating horror stories to a minimum – there will be plenty of time for that once you know each other better. Telling him about a long string of bad relationships may make you seem like a bad catch.
Where do you hope to be 10 years from now? 20 years? Where does he see himself in that timeframe? Do career, marriage, and parenting have any bearing on that vision? Do your plans for the future have any parallels?
Above all – be creative in how you approach your conversations. Be natural, be yourself, and don’t forget to laugh and have fun. In potentially tense situations like a first date, humor goes a long way!