Things NOT to talk about on a first date

In our last article, we explored things to talk about on a first date. Now, we’ll get into things you shouldn’t talk about. Being aware of topics you should avoid is just as important as knowing what to say. After all, how your first date goes may well set the stage for your future together.  

  1. Don’t talk about yourself too much

    Try to have a conversation that is balanced, meaning that both you and your date have an equal chance to talk and contribute. You will never learn anything about another person if you are the one doing all the talking!

  2. Don’t get into explicit sex discussions

    Once you get to know each other better you can openly talk about sex acts, what you like, and so on. Broaching this topic on a first date may come across as a bit heavy-handed. Give yourselves some time to develop some camaraderie first.

  3. Don’t talk about money, religion or politics

    Much like explicit sex, these are all topics that can prove to be quite heated. Strong opinions, especially if yours differs from theirs, can tank your attempts at connecting before you’ve even had a chance. Once you know each other better, even if you don’t share the same viewpoints, these topics might be easier to navigate.

  4. Don’t talk about things you don’t know about

    If your date brings up topics you know nothing about, don’t claim that you do. You may come across as shallow, desperate or insincere. You don’t have to agree with everything he says!

  5. Be a good listener. Don’t interrupt!

    Interrupting another person’s conversation is incredibly rude. If you have something to add, wait until they are finished their thought before you interject. Letting them have their say shows that you respect their opinions and are interested in what they have to say.

  6. Don’t share your past drama

    The more drama or horror stories you share about former dates, your family, or your social group, the more you will paint yourself as a drama-monger yourself. There will be a time and a place to share your stories and once you know each other better, these events can be put into their proper context.

  7. Don’t talk too much about your exes

    This goes for bad relationships as well as good ones. Focus on the here and now and maybe a bit about your hopes for the future. If you come across as being too hung up on your ex, you will be sending signals that you are not ready for a relationship.

  8. Don’t come on too strong

    You don’t have to get everything on the table on your first date. Trying to exact a specific result, whether it’s sex or some definitive answer about your relationship status is a really good way to drive people away.

    What do you typically like to talk about on a first date? Have you ever brought up any of these taboo subjects? What has the result been?

    Keep in mind, every single topic and question you ask should be aimed at learning whether you and your first date are going to fit well together. So, have fun, keep it light, and have a sense of humor about the process and you can’t go wrong.

Close

50% Complete

Last Step

Submit your details to get updates and news from Scott Tsui.