The Truth about Online Dating

Last time, we talked about how dating apps could ruin your chance of finding your future partner. In this article, we will reveal more about Online Dating.

Why do I need to learn this?

Knowing more about online dating will maximize your chances of finding a potential life partner. If you lack adequate or accurate information, the “myths” of online dating might get in the way of achieving your goal.

What am I going to learn?

Knowledge will help you make better decisions.

Love & Marriage

63 percent of gay and lesbian singles are marriage-oriented. 25 percent say they have never wanted to marry.

When we compare the profiles of couples who have met online and paired up vs. singles, their online traits (the things they state on their profile) are almost identical.

The biggest differences are:

1. The length of their profile

   Singles tended to have shorter profile descriptions (184 words) vs. the coupled, who used an average of 252 words.

   Conclusion: A longer online profile gives a better sense of a person’s character.

2. The number of messages sent after they connected

   After a connection was made, the singles sent an average of 19 messages, while the “couples” sent an average of 30 messages.

   Conclusion: More communication leads to greater trust and intimacy.

3. The length of the messages exchanged

   In each message, the average number of characters was 405 for the singles and 809 for the couples.

Observation: When asked why they didn’t write more on their profile or say anything more than “hi” in their messages, singles stated that it wasn’t because they were lazy, but that they were afraid if they put in the effort and didn’t hear from the person again, they would feel rejected. Because rejection hurts, they pretend not to care and so do not open up.

How can I engage in online dating in a constructive, healthy way?  

Taking these observations into account, it could be concluded that unless you open up and share more of yourself – including making yourself vulnerable to rejection – you may not ever find something that is real.

Gay people tend to find it more difficult to open up and be vulnerable because we have built a protective wall and are used to hiding our true selves behind a mask. We have carried that fear forward into our adulthood and this becomes a barrier to finding lasting happiness.

Rejection is a fact of life. How are you going to play it?

Keep in mind that not everything/everybody that’s out there is for you. Keep things in perspective and have faith that these rejections are a gift because they are not “the one” for you.

So, what role are you going to play when an opportunity comes? Are you going to open up? Are you willing to share more of yourself to turn the experience into something real?

We need to learn how to be real. If you open yourself up and are willing to be vulnerable, you have taken the first step to make a connection.

The more you open up, the better chance you have to build trust and intimacy with someone who just might become your future husband.