How dating apps can ruin your chance of finding your soulmate

While you shouldn’t completely dismiss the idea of meeting your perfect match through a dating app, if you hinge all of your hopes and efforts on an app, you could ruin your chances of finding “the one”.

Dating apps are useful, but only if they are used wisely. The key is to know an app’s limitations and capacity for giving you what you really want. Because they are easy, convenient, and really good at helping you hook up, it’s easy to get stuck in an endless loop that’s really going nowhere.

How things can go wrong with dating apps

Even great inventions have their limitations. Here are some of the ways things can go wrong:

  1. Bad dating app experiences. You may encounter men who have open relationships, are cheating on their partner, are pretending to be single or who just want to hookup.
  2. Relying too much on the app. If you are constantly glued to the phone, your soulmate could walk right past you and you won’t see him.
  3. Thinking that there are always “other guys”. The constant availability of guys on an app may lead you to develop the notion that there is always somebody better out there.
  4. Creates a barrier to intimacy. Meeting men on an app may be easier than meeting real people, but it creates a barrier to emotional growth.
  5. Men who use apps frequently become addicted to hookups simply because it’s easy.
  6. Lack of meaningful communication. The sex could be mind-blowing, but there will come a time when you will want to make an emotional connection.

Understanding the limitations of dating apps

Now, I’m not saying that dating apps are a complete waste of your time. You just have to approach it with your eyes open.

Here are some tips to help you stay motivated:

Consider the “where”

Location is critical, especially if you live in a location with a few gay people. There may be limitations in terms of whether you or the other person is willing or able to relocate in order to be together.

Who are they, really?

Understand that not all online apps are created equal. Some apps may offer you a better chance of meeting a potential partner and some may lean more towards casual hookups. Make sure you can tell the difference.  

Is it me?

Apps tend to expose you to rejection more often. If you don’t have the right perspective, it is easy to fall into the trap of wondering ‘what’s wrong with me’ – when there is really nothing wrong at all.

Putting dating apps in perspective: do’s and don’ts

DO put some effort into creating a nice profile, one that reflects what you’re really looking for. You can say: “I am looking for something more special” and that absolutely doesn’t make you sound desperate.

DON’T depend solely on dating apps. Use them as a tool to assist you, but do not depend on them.  

Lastly, think about lowering your expectations; for instance, don’t just assume that you’re going to find your soulmate on that app. Keep things in perspective. That way, when you do find a potential match, it’s a bonus!

If you apply what you have learned here, you will have a much better chance of finding the man of your dreams. Be patient, take your time, and keep in mind – he is probably looking for you too.

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